Wasteland of Scandinavia

由于公司电脑痤的不像是本世纪产物，又由于此空间的习惯性死机，本人正式将blog迁往以下地址http://keble124.blog.163.com/要踩的要烦得放马过来吧。。。 

我已经不记得有多少个世纪没有更新自己的日志了，其间发生了好多事情。

首先，我毕业了！！~~~四年终于还是结束了，我的好日子到头了。Dios Mio!!~~~

其次，我工作了，虽然没有正式开始上班，不过也快了。我终于要开始赚钱了，只是不知道自己赚的钱会不会够花。。。哈哈

再次，要和妹妹分开了，一起呆了七年的说，以后就是我在南京她在苏州了，好不方便。。。

再再次，前一阵子爷爷去世了，好受打击的说，虽然表面上没什么，但是还是会很不爽，难得我终于要挣钱孝敬他了都没机会。。。

没什么了，下次再说吧。。。。

今天是除夕夜，外边现在正是鞭炮热闹的时候，刚吃完年夜饭又大了一岁了，确切地说是又老了一岁了。

现在真的觉得超级没话讲，更新博客也不知道要写什么。不写了。。。

几万年没有更新博客了，哈哈，写点东西吧。昨天晚上去陆那边看球了，和妹妹一起Arsenal VS Chelsea结果一比一，总算是能接受得结果。好歹阿森纳用的是可以算二队的阵容。还是希望Henry早点养好伤，还有罗西基。对！昨天那解说的版本正tm别拗。什么昂立，旺热。。。天那，我无语了。今天mm回家了，接下来十几天我得自个儿过了，埃~~~~苦命，考研！！！！没几天了，鼎鼎就过了好久不写没话可写了，昏。。。算了，不说了。。。

Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the establishing of Nanjing University of Economy and Finance. Although I am not a student there, I took part in the celebrating activity and it turned out a disaster...

Fisrt of all, I would like to talk something about the meals. I was told in the morning that we were going to have a fantastic lunch, however, when I hurried there at about 11:00 am(still a little bit early for lunch) I was astonished by the crowd, it seemed that the lunch is for free. Actually, it was kind of free, for each student in the college got 8 yuan for lunch, the trouble some fact was that they were supposed to use it only during lunchtime, it would be expired as soon as lunchtime was over. And then I found some of the most brilliant minds of our lives. Some student grouped together and all got their assignment and cooperated to gather a gorgeous meal, some other were waiting at the department that selling bread and milk. Don't think they enjoyed these things for lunch, they just wanted to get some storage. Which was more frightening was that some of the students were not at school, as thus their part of the money was really out of supply, everybody wanted more, and the friendships seems not so important while they confronted with money. All kinds of tricks were played on and on. After more than 30 minutes of waiting I got my fried chicken, which would cost me no more than 3 minute in usual time. I had never known that there could be so many student in this univesity, yet under the temptation of free lunch, they all gathered here and scrambled for their share of food. It looked like the refugees in the shelter... I don't know whether it's appropriate or not to describe it this way, but after such a disastrous lunch this is the only thing I can ever think about...

Let me talk about something else, Arsenal, yes, made a draw yesterday, after 5 successive win, oh damn it... and Rooney goaled at length... Barcelona wined, Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ I sound like a sportnews reporter, right? What's more? Aguero!! My new favorate!!~~so cute, a really starlet of the Argentina and Madrid Athletics!!!~~

I'm really pissed off recently, for everything I do, I made mistakes. It seems that, whatever I do, I get lost. I am about to graduate from university, this may count for all the miseries I've been through lately. To apply for further education or get to work, I've been obsessed with this question for quite some time. It is not the first time that I need to make decision of my own all by myself. From Junior school to university, I made all the choice all by myself. My parents never gave me any guidance as if it had nothing to do with them, to be more exactly, as if I were not their daughter. They didn't give me any suggestion this time neither. When I was talking with them about my future they always told me that it was all up to me, it was my future not theirs, I just need to do what I think is necessary. I followed their suggestion too this time, for several days of hard thinking, I decided to further study. And in order to concentrate on the examination, I gave up the chance to apply for the teacher's post which enraged my father. I can heard him snarling over my mother's voice through the phone as if his mad. He shouted that I was letting chances slip away one after another, I should end up jobless at home. I was really confused and furious that I couldn't help sobing. It was he who told me to make my own choice, it was he who told me to apply for graduate school, it was still he who told me to find a job. He took all these for granted that one can easily do all these things simultaneously and has a fairly good outcome. It was imposible and ridiculous, I am NOT an A student, I am NOT clever enough to achieve all these missions. All that I can do is just take one direction and keep on moving. The most unacceptable thing is that, when I asked him, he didn't made any comments, and afterwards, when I decided what to do he just came and told me off like that. He didn't even aware that how irresponsible he was. Apart from money, there is nothing I can expect from him.

I'm very very pissed off...

I've in a bad mood for a long time, especially after I returning home. I can't tell why or how, I just hate everything around me, and at the same time isolate myself from my surroundings. I enclosed myself in my room all day long, didn't even go down stairs. Of course this caused some kind of physical problems, one of them is that my thigh becomes numb more quickly than ever before as long as I sit somewhere for a while. Realizing this I started to take a walk every night after the sunset. Here rises the problem, I don't have enough money... This seems to be pretty irrelevant to the problem, however, I take it as one of my biggest problem. This afternoon, I was supposed to go for a riding in the countryside with my best friends, but since I've not got the money, I stayed at home, I don't wanna borrow hers, I'm done with that!! I remembered days before my father talked to me about buying a PC which I was dying for(I dare not to tell him just in case he could be sad for not being able to afford one...). I feel terrible this afternoon, I always believe in that it doesn't matter what family background you have, all that matters is your attitude towards life, anyway, I cannot be that optimistic anymore. As I growing up I became more and more realistic and cynical, maybe. You can not be as equal as a child raised in a wealthy family, and when you talking with them, you'll have a strong sense of classes. I used to pretend to understand what they are saying and express my ideas, then, after a long run of frustration, I gave in. I got tire of these things and I don't want to be a stupid follower to comfort other people's taste. All I want to do is to keep away from them, to save my own head easy and I feel safe. I firmly believed that the nature of our souls are longliness. It is only you can understand yourself, anyone else can not undertake the task for they are not raised in a evironment exactly like yours. I still in a stage of mess, I cannot yet handle longliness, so it has been so disturbing. But I'm trying so hard, someday I'll overcome it

and live all by myself.